When it comes to your wellbeing, we all know that there’s lots of things you KNOW you’re supposed to be doing. You know, like exercising daily (preferably outdoors at the break of dawn, lol) and refuelling your body with an organic fruit and fibre-filled breakfast after you’ve baked your own sourdough for lunch later. And after you’ve completed your focused and high energy day, you cook a nutritious and delicious organic dinner for your family before unrolling your yoga mat out in your dedicated peaceful space and meditate deeply, bathed in candlelight. Finally, you collapse into a crisp, freshly-made bed of organic cotton sheets for eight hours of blissful uninterrupted sleep before you wake and repeat in your radiance once again.
Well, although this might sound amazing, it’s not the reality of the vast majority of perimenopausal and menopausal women, is it? In fact, our realities are quite different from this social media ‘ideal’ destined to be even more filtered for Instagram reels.
The invisible load that perimenopausal and menopausal women feel goes beyond the hot flushes, night sweats, mood swings, weight gain, brain fog, anxiety and disrupted sleep patterns, because just as your body’s hormones are doing things that feel out of your control, so too the rest of your life may be feeling. For instance, your (no longer small) children are either in their teens dealing with exams or young adults heading off to uni, which although this can give feelings of pride, can also cause sadness and worry on top of your own regarding the body you once knew.
In addition, if your parents are still around, they probably need more of your time and support than you’ve been used to. Plus, even your career could be at a pivotal point, because the continued demand in energy and focus that your changing hormones take up make harder to sustain. And if you add in relationship ups and downs, financial pressures and simple household management into the mix, then it’s a wonder you remember your own name, let alone have time for your yoga mat. It can feel like you’re holding up a 100 spinning plates, so the idea of also becoming a green juice-drinking early morning goddess feels utterly unreachable.
So What’s The Answer?
Well, it comes back to getting real — start with a small step of something that you CAN do now. Because here’s the thing: every time you do do something (even remotely) good for yourself — whether that’s walking the family dog for 15 minutes, drinking an extra glass of water, choosing to have an organic apple instead of a biscuit or even simply taking three slow breaths between tasks — it means that you are doing something positive to reset yourself.
Making real change in your life isn’t about overhauling everything overnight (which is why quick fixes like Ozempic NEVER work in the long run). Making real change in your life is all about recognising that in the midst of the chaos in your life, it’s you that matter first. And that’s not being selfish, because even the smallest act of self care is a reclaiming of the truth that you do matter first.
And self care matters now more than ever in your life, because when you’re having to juggle everything for everyone else, it’s so easy to believe that looking after yourself IS selfish — or even worse, optional. But it’s not optional — it’s essential. Because during perimenopause and menopause, your stress hormones (particularly cortisol) can spiral out of control, which can exacerbate symptoms like fatigue, anxiety and sleep issues even more. So, if you don’t prioritise yourself now, your then your mental, emotional and physical health will more than likely also suffer. And, ironically, that will make it much more harder to support everyone else who relies on you. Have you ever heard the saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup? Well, now more than ever, your cup matters.
Start REALLY Small
I’m saying this not to overwhelm you, because I KNOW (having worked with ladies like you for over a decade) that the idea of overhauling your diet, sleep patterns, exercise routine, along with your mindset sounds massively overwhelming. But you don’t need to do it all. You don’t even need to do most of it all in one go. You simply need to START.
So, here are some realistic, tiny steps that WILL add up over time (chose one to start today!):
— Hydration reset: Start the morning with one glass of water before you reach for a coffee or tea. It’s as simple as that!
— Movement reset: Do five minutes of gentle stretching before you go to bed (and if that feels good, maybe you’ll find yourself doing 10 minutes next week).
— Food reset: Add a handful of organic spinach to your sandwich or a spoonful of chia seeds to your porridge. No diet overhauls — just healthy additions.
— Sleep reset: Swap your late night scrolling for an hour of reading or journalling. Even better — leave your phone in another room outside of the bedroom.
— Mind reset: Set a reminder on your phone each day at 3pm and say out loud: “I’m positively resetting myself.” Then pause and take 3 deep breaths to integrate this feeling.
Although these acts may feel insignificant at first, I promise you that they’re not. These are real tangible and manageable steps that you can start taking today to put yourself first.
And I get it — there’s often a VERY deep resistance for women in our stage of life to prioritise ourselves, because society has conditioned us to believe that we’re here to have it all while holding it all together — for everyone else!!! That our value is only measured by how much we sacrifice ourselves. But imagine, just for a moment, what might happen if you truly believed that your wellbeing matters just as much as your child’s, your partner’s, your boss’s, your parent’s. Because guess what? It does.
So, please hear me when I say that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s a strategic and long-term investment in you, who deserves care and inner peace when you’re surrounded by chaos. And I’m not talking yoga retreats and bubble baths, because one little step could simply mean standing barefoot in your garden with a cup of delicious herbal tea taking a moment to feel the summer breeze on your face. Or putting your phone on silent and in another room while you mindfully sit down to lunch. Or even letting go of feeling guilt by saying NO to something that you truly don’t have capacity for. Taking care of yourself is all about reclaiming those ordinary moments, giving them meaning and letting them serve YOU for a change — one small step at a time!!!
Love, Gaynor x